my thoughts of you still run like wildfire through my fucked up mind at 4 am
i know what you’re doing
but are you thinking of me?
are you regretting anything?
anything at all
do you feel anything?
you seem to be man-made
made of hard, cold steel
that’s not how i remember you though.
i remember your embrace
the way your eyes looked in the morning
i miss it all
is it only my jokes you miss?
this heartache isn’t so funny from this side
i’d gut myself of humor and sarcasm
and give it all to you for just one more moment
for that look in your eyes
and the safety of your arms.
but i was never really safe
my heart was out in a war zone waiting for you to secure it into the depths of your soul.
but you never did.
i found it not too long ago
not how i remembered it, not whole.
it’s scarred and blackened
but still beating.
it’s buried away for now
like someone fighting for their last breath
but it’s the only way i know how to keep it safe
it’ll come to the surface
i just don’t know when
until then i’ll claw for the only truth i really know
i am enough on my own.